Taking Responsibility for Mental Illness

eceiving a mental health diagnosis can be both reassuring and overwhelming at the same time. On the one hand, a diagnosis offers validation for the struggles you’ve faced. On the other hand, however, it can seem almost like a label that defines you. It can spark tough questions, such as: Am I broken? You may feel like this is just an excuse to miss work, withdraw from friends, or lash out at the people who don’t understand.

These feelings are completely normal! A diagnosis brings clarity, but it can also bring feelings of defeat. The truth is, a diagnosis is not a life sentence; it’s a tool. A diagnosis doesn’t mean you’re damaged; it is simply giving a name to what you’re experiencing, all so you can start to heal, just like you would with any other illness or injury.

Navigating this journey requires balance: allowing yourself to feel all of your feelings without letting them consume you, while also leaning on your support system without pushing them away. 

Together we will talk about:

• Leaning on your support system
• How to compartmentalize without ignoring your feelings

The sooner we get started, the sooner your healing can begin! 

Learning to Lean on Your Support System

Without Taking Your Fears and Frustrations Out On Them

Struggling with mental health can often promote relationship struggles, whether that’s with friends, partners, or family. However, your relationships are a crucial source of support and comfort during this time. Often, emotions like frustration, sadness, anger, and hopelessness can spill over, making it easy to lash out and push support systems away. 

Being able to recognize your need for support, while also balancing their emotional limits, is key to maintaining healthy relationships during your mental health journey.

There are numerous ways to go about this balance, including:

1. Open Communication – the people in your life will want to help, but they will not always know how. Instead of expecting them to instinctively understand, try to communicate your needs clearly. If you don’t want advice and just want to vent, be sure to clearly state that! It will be helpful to have someone listen, but be sure to outline if you do not want opinions, judgments, or advice. Let your relationships know what you need, as well as what you don’t need. If being told to “think positive” makes you feel invalidated, communicate that! Open communication is so important with keeping your relationships healthy, and starting on your mental health journey.

2. Boundaries – setting boundaries for yourself, while also recognizing your relationships’ boundaries is crucial. Setting boundaries is not to keep people out, but instead to help us understand and recognize our own feelings and needs. 
   • This could be physical, like accepting hugs or other physical comforts. 
   • Or, this could be emotional, like saying “no” to added activities when you’re overwhelmed. 

Boundaries go both ways. While it’s great to lean on your loved ones, it’s important to recognize their emotional limits, too. If you use one person as your everything, sometimes this can lead to feelings of resentment. Try checking in with your relationships before you unload emotionally tough topics. A quick, “hey, are you in the right headspace to hear something heavy right now?” can make all the difference in keeping your relationships healthy.

3. Recognize Emotional Displacement – it’s common to take out your frustration or sadness out on those closest to us. Sometimes, you may snap at a loved one or be short-tempered without actually having any anger towards who you’re being short with. Remember, these are the people in your life who want to help you. It is important to take a step back when you notice yourself displacing your emotions
   • Ask yourself: who am I really upset with?
   • Take a deep breath, take a moment by yourself, and try to process your emotions
   • Many people find journaling or meditation to be helpful in this situation. Healthy outlets like therapy or exercise can help release your emotions in a way that doesn’t strain relationships.
   • If you do lash out, apologize! Being able to own up to mistakes and apologizing will make all the difference in maintaining healthy relationships when dealing with your own mental health.

4. Understand your struggles, as well as theirs – relationships are a two-way street. Even when you’re struggling, showing care for your loved ones strengthens your connection. A simple “How was your day?” or  an “I appreciate you” can go a long way. Try not to make comparisons between your struggles. Many studies show that frequent comparisons can actually heighten feelings of depression and anxiety. Your struggles are valid, and so are theirs!

These tips will allow you to feel the extent of what you need to feel, without pushing away the relationships that you need during your mental health journey. Setting boundaries, recognizing when you displace your emotions, being aware of both of your struggles, and having an open dialogue will all be crucial to maintaining and strengthening your relationships, even while struggling with your mental health.

Compartmentalizing Your Mental Health

Tips to Compartmentalize Without Ignoring Your Feelings

When struggling with mental health, your emotions may seem overwhelming. They may seep into all areas of your everyday life, making your days more difficult. This is where compartmentalizing comes in!

Compartmentalization as a defense mechanism in which you can mentally separate conflicting thoughts or emotions into distinct "compartments" to avoid the discomfort of dealing with them simultaneously. This allows you to process emotions without letting them take over completely.

However, there is a fine line between compartmentalizing and avoidance. The goal isn’t to suppress or ignore your feelings but instead to acknowledge them in a way that allows you to keep functioning and moving forward:

1. Acknowledge, don’t fight! It is important to be aware of your emotions, but not to necessarily fight to get rid of them. Bottling up your emotions will not make them go away. Instead, this often leads to emotional outbursts or physical stress. Make sure to validate what you’re feeling – it is healthy to feel a range of emotions! 

2. Create mental compartments – this is a technique that involves using visualization to mentally separate different emotions. More visual people may enjoy thinking of their mind like a room with different drawers or boxes. Each of these compartments represents a different part of your life, like work, relationships, mental health, etc. For example, when an emotion arises at an inconvenient time, you can mentally “store” it for later. This is beneficial in that it helps avoid emotional spillover and sets clear boundaries between the different aspects of your life.

3. Schedule a time to process your emotions – have a dedicated time to check in with your feelings! Having a specific time set for something like journaling, yoga, exercise, therapy, etc. can be very helpful to manage what may be overwhelming emotions. Spending just 10-15 minutes feeling your stress, anger, sadness, or anxiety can make sure it doesn’t interfere with your day-to-day life. 

Your mental health journey may not be straightforward – and that’s okay! Being able to compartmentalize, but not ignore, your emotions can be key to navigating your mental health. 

Make sure you take time for yourself, as well as time for your loved ones who are here with you during this difficult time. You have a network of support from individuals in your life, as well as tools like compartmentalization to support you during your mental health journey.