t seems that the 20s are a turbulent time in a lot of people’s lives. It is the first time that a lot of people experience true freedom, and all of the terrible responsibility that comes with it. It’s the first time a lot of people are formally leaving college and entering the workforce, and having to manage their own finances and housing without as many support systems. At college, at the very least your home and work are pretty much handled for you. But in your 20s, you are an adult in earnest despite how you’re legally an adult at 18, and it can be incredibly tough to deal with the utter metric ton of things that life throws at you.
The good news is that it’s normal. A lot if not most people figure these issues out, and there are a large number of available ways to deal with it. If you’re lost in your 20s, then here’s what to do:
A lot of sources will imply that your 20’s are the prime time to do all the big life things: get a steady job, get married, and settle in, when this is not quite the truth. With the competitive nature of the job market this is usually not the case. It’s incredibly difficult to start a whole career without significant experience and most people in their 20s end up switching jobs a bunch of times. This is because it is more financially viable to switch jobs every one or two years, not to mention it can be a way to search for more meaningful jobs. But, this can lead to young people to feel adrift, not tied down to any particular jobs.
Not to mention that social and romantic prospects become incredibly stressful in your 20s. There is such an intense pressure to find someone to settle down with and find out who you are (which is one of the most difficult questions in the world to answer) that the entire thing is a whole pressure cooker of emotion. But with so much pressure to “figure it out,” and social media blasting you with 10,000 CCs of people who seem to have it all figured out 24/7, it makes you feel somewhat lost, too.
In essence, all of these factors contribute to the idea that people in their 20s are under a lot of pressure and have very little to cling on to. This may be called the quarter-life crisis, a time full of stress and doubts and second-guesses about a person’s future. While it contributes to feeling lost, it can spin into conditions as bad as full-on anxiety or depression, and even mental health issues that are much worse. There is a lot to say about how society does this to new adults, but the best thing we can do is discuss what we can do to help people in their 20s who feel lost to figure out who they are and what they need in life.
The reigning advice for young adults in their 20s is simply to take risks. In a world that pressures you to start going steady, the best thing you can do is to absolutely not do that at all. In fact, it is good to start taking risks. Especially if you have no outstanding debts, your 20s is the perfect time to go on adventures and have life experiences that you can’t get anywhere else. It’s the best time to “go on the offense,” in terms of living your life. But do these things not in the interest of chasing results, instead you have to do it because you want to. Do the things that you want to do with the people you love. Make big swings!
In terms of social or professional stress, try not to think too hard about the question of what to do with your life. That’s not a question that you can solve by thinking about it as hard as you can in the dead of night and simply manifesting an answer. Just let life pass over you. If you’re in your 20s, then you haven’t lived very much at all yet. Take a big trip, or something. The world is big! Go out and find things that you might love. You can’t let choice paralysis or increasing stress stop you from living your life. No one was on their deathbed wishing they spent more time in their apartment thinking about their life.
At the end of the day, your early 20s are a time to feel a little bit adrift, but that is something to take advantage of. But even while going out and experiencing the world, you may still feel stressed. In this world, there is still some wisdom to keep in mind.
Life is not a linear experience. Giants are moving above you- industries will change and die and be created and so things can come and go without you saying so. But take solace in the fact that it’s not under your control. You don’t control it, so you don’t need to change it. At the same time, remember that people are more stable than you think. While people definitely can change, hold on to the relationships from your teens and 20s if you can, because they may be important members of your circle and network. People in that network are more likely to be in different lives than you are because you are less likely to have met them in a professional setting. So, keep those people around if you can.
Speaking of your teens, you can keep learning once you leave school. Life is for learning as a whole, it doesn’t stop once you get handed a diploma. And what’s more, if there’s anything you want to learn then it’s in your hands to make it happen.
The point is that if you’re feeling lost in your 20s; stop living incidentally. Take charge in your experience and exercise control over your life, and soon enough you will start really living your life instead of just thinking about it.
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