oving to a new city by yourself is a lot of things. It’s simultaneously terrifying and exhilarating, like jumping into a pool without knowing exactly how deep the water is. Exciting? Pulse-pounding? Absolutely. But is it also nerve-wracking? 100%.
Whether you’re moving out for college or following your career to a new city, sometimes as adults we find ourselves in this weird, vulnerable, electrifying position of being totally on our own. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, that’s okay. We’re here to help you break through all of those conflicting emotions to do a few things:
- Emotionally and practically prepare for the big move
- Get settled in once you reach your new city
- Shift gears out of survival mode and start having fun with it
Sure, it can be scary. But I’m here to tell you that not only can you survive this adventure, you might just thrive in ways you never expected.
Let’s get started.
Before You Move: Preparation is Key
Alright. Deep breath. Here we go. You’ve decided to make the move to a new city, whether you’ve landed an offer for your dream job or simply decided to take the leap and change things up. I don’t want to scare you, but it’s obviously a big decision, and one that takes a lot of courage to make. But you’ve got this :)
Moving to a new city by yourself is a little more stressful than moving from your room at your parent’s house to the university dorms half an hour away, but with a little preparation you can handle anything it throws at you.
Financial Groundwork
Moving to a new city isn't just an emotional journey – it's a financial one, too. This might sound like the boring part, but if you take stock of your financial situation and budget for every aspect of the move now, you’ll be way more prepared in case something unexpected comes up later.
Read: Your car breaking down won’t snowball into you being forced to move back in with your mom, or your brother, or your college roommate.
Before getting too far into planning your move, try check as many of these items off the list as possible:
- Create a detailed budget for your life right now. Where can you cut back or afford to spend more?
- Research the cost of living in your new city – can you afford it? If not, what changes can you make to bring it into budget?
- Understand your new city’s job market. Will you be able to work remotely at your current job when you land there? If you need to pick up some shifts at the coffee shop down the street if you need some extra help to make rent? If you have a job offer, will the salary cover your living expenses, or will you have to pick up a side hustle to make the dream happen?
- Save up an emergency fund. If you’re able to save up, this creates a cushion in case something goes wrong with your job or housing situation. This can make the difference between successfully putting down roots in a new place or having to start back over at square one. Ideally, you’ll want to have 3-6 months of living expenses (that’s rent, groceries, transportation, and anything else that’s absolutely essential) set aside in case you need it.
Budgeting for Your New Life
Here’s a little budgeting 101 to help you plan for life in a new city. If you need a quick rule of thumb, consider the 50/30/20 budgeting strategy. Basically, it means:
- Allocate 50% of your budget to needs like housing, utilities, groceries, healthcare, and transportation
- Allocate 30% of your budget to wants like hobbies, dining out, new clothes or furniture, etc.
- Allocate 20% of your budget to savings and investments, like adding to your emergency fund or retirement fund
These numbers are estimates, and you can dial it in for your unique situation by looking up data about living in your new destination or reaching your specific goals.
Logistics Checklist
Before you pack a single box, make sure you have these absolutely essential tasks started (+ ideally, finished). This is going to be a lot of paperwork and planning, but it will save your sanity later.
✅ Get a Handle on Housing
Before you notify your landlord you won’t be renewing the lease or put your house on the market, make sure you have a place to stay in your new city.
Housing Hacks
- Consider roommates for first-time city movers
- Use multiple apartment hunting resources
- Visit neighborhoods before committing
- Budget for unexpected housing costs
- Understand your lease completely
✅ Have a Job Lined Up
Moving to and living in a new city takes money. Make sure you have a job lined up so you can pay the bills, or if you have enough saved to live on for a couple of months, at the very least a solid job search strategy and clear idea of when you need to have it wrapped up in order to keep living there.
Job and Career Strategies
- Network, network, network
- Update your LinkedIn
- Attend local industry events
- Be open to contract or freelance work
- Build professional connections
✅ Checklist of Other Pre-Move To-Dos
- Update driver's license and voter registration
- Transfer health insurance
- Bank accounts and address change
- Research secure storage or moving options
Making the Move
I would love to offer you an airtight plan to make moving day stress-free, but unfortunately I can’t. Every move is different, so just focus on what works for you. Are you moving from an apartment into a house, or vice versa? Do you need moving pods so you can pack over time, or is it better to have a full-service moving company handle everything in one swoop?
That being said, here are a few general tips for making the move smoother:
- Budget enough time and money to get yourself there. Whether you’re road tripping or going by plane, train, or boat, give yourself enough time to get there without stressing out. This might involve coordinating with your new job.
- Say your “see ya later”s + make plans to stay connected. Not everyone in your life now is destined to be there forever, and that’s okay. Saying goodbye can be hard, but it’s better to rip off the bandage. And if there are relationships you still want to cultivate despite the distance, make a plan for how to do that with those people ahead of time, whether it’s gaming online twice a month, talking on the phone every week, or taking an annual girls’ trip together.
The First Month: Survival Mode
The first month of living in your new city is going to be an emotional rollercoaster. Some days you’ll feel on top of the world, independent, off on the greatest adventure of your life… and other days you might cry into a pizza that’s definitely not-as-good-as-the-pizza-you’re-homesick-for-but-you-take-what-you-can-get while questioning everything. Both are totally normal. Both are totally okay.
Finding Your Footing
Settling in means more than just unpacking the boxes and putting knick knacks on the desk at your new job. If you want to take advantage of everything your new city has to offer – and you do, otherwise you wouldn’t have changed your entire life to move there – you’ll want to start figuring out where you belong in this new place.
Survival strategies:
- Explore your neighborhood – take a drive or go for a walk, but get a sense for what the area is like, and the area next to that. Stop into the shops. Look around.
- Meet some new people. Accept the invite to that company happy hour. Say yes when your neighbor asks for a hand getting the painting on their wall straight. Strike up conversation in the checkout line at the grocery store. You never know who will become the next important person in your life.
- Take advantage of technology. Join local Facebook groups and meetups or use apps like Bumble BFF to meet new friends.
- Be open to new experiences. Things are going to be different here than they were at home… that’s par for the course. But jump in with both feet, and see what you learn about yourself, about the city, and beyond. More of a city mouse, but the biggest attraction in your new area is a jaw-dropping hike on the city limits? Give it a try! Never lived somewhere with a pro sports team before? Grab some tickets and cheer on the home team! See what sets this city apart.
- Give yourself grace – adjusting takes time. Putting yourself out there all of the time can get emotionally and financially exhausting, and that’s okay. Whatever pushing yourself means to you, do that. But don’t be afraid to curl up on the couch and watch your comfort show on a Friday night or facetime with your mom if you need to.
Navigating Loneliness
Whether you’re an introvert or extrovert, being in a new place far from the support system you’re used to is bound to get lonely at some point. Luckily, you can do a few things to help manage those feelings without letting them ruin the fun of exploring a new city:
- Schedule regular video calls with friends and family
- Join group activities or classes
- Volunteer to get involved with your new community
- Take yourself on solo dates
Remember: being alone doesn't have to mean being lonely.
Taking Care of Your Mental Health After You Move
Obviously this is something you want to do from day one, but it’s more of an ongoing process than learning the names of the streets that intersect with yours. To help you feel more comfortable more quickly, consider doing a couple of things to invest in your long-term emotional success.
1. Find a therapist or counseling service.
One thing that therapists do is help their clients navigate major life changes, and moving to a new city by yourself definitely counts as a major life change! Relocation stress can be particularly high for individuals living alone, so getting a professional in your corner quickly can help you deal with any difficult emotions that arise.
2. Establish a new routine quickly.
Humans like routine. Having one can actually provide big benefits, like helping you feel more in control, productive, and focused… not to mention reducing stress.
This is a great time to take stock of what your life looked like before your move and what you want it to look like now. Are there any routines, interests, or hobbies that are no longer serving you? What can you pursue to help you become who you want to become?
Not to mention, maintaining good habits you already have – like staying physically active or writing out your thoughts in a journal – help your mental health, too.
3. Create a support system, even if it’s virtual.
Your therapist. Friends from back home. Your family. New people you’re meeting. No matter who it is, it’s important to maintain social connections.
Studies have shown that staying connected with others has a huge impact on your overall emotional and even physical health. Here are just a few recent findings:
- People with healthy social connections live longer.
- Lack of human connection was found to be more harmful to humans than risk factors like obesity and smoking.
- Social isolation can even compromise your immune system, not to mention cause depression, anxiety, and insomnia.
So whether it’s in person or online, talk to your loved ones!!!
Common Mistakes to Avoid
- Don't Isolate Yourself Putting yourself out there is scary, but necessary. Join groups, take classes, say yes to invitations.
- Don't Compare Your Journey Social media will show everyone else's highlight reel. Your journey is unique.
- Don't Drain Your Savings Keep a strict budget. Unexpected expenses will happen.
- Don't Neglect Self-Care Your mental and physical health come first.
How to Know When It's Not Right
Sometimes, a city just isn't the right fit. And that's okay. It’s not being a quitter or being a coward to throw in the towel on something that just isn’t working for you.
🚩 Signs it might be time to reconsider:
- Unable to find work
- Financial stress becoming unmanageable
- Feeling unsafe in your new environment
- Total lack of community connection
- Persistent feelings of depression
- Extreme anxiety
Pep Talk: You've Got This
Moving to a new city alone is an act of courage. You're literally redesigning your entire life, and that takes guts. Some days will be hard. Some days will be incredible. But you are capable of handling whatever comes your way.
Remember:
You are braver than you think.
It's okay to struggle.
Growth happens outside your comfort zone.
And most importantly, this is your adventure
Moving to a new city alone isn't just about changing your address. It's about discovering who you are when you're completely out of your comfort zone. It's about building resilience, independence, and a life entirely of your own design.
You're not just moving. You're becoming.
Stay strong, stay curious, and embrace the journey. 🌟
