Spending the Holidays Alone: How to Have a Happy Holiday on Your Own

s Andy Williams triumphantly declares over a brassy crescendo in his 1963 Christmas classic, the holidays are, for many, the most wonderful time of the year. For a few magical months, the holiday season fills us with warmth and goodwill, bringing with it fires crackling in hearths and snow glistening on windowsills. It’s idyllic. Nostalgic. And quite often, unattainable.

Holiday plans are rarely simple. Whether your relationship with your family is strained, you find your friends have scattered to different cities, or you’ve decided to self-isolate to play a responsible role in the current pandemic -- you may find yourself facing the holidays on your own. It can be daunting to navigate a time of year so often equated with being surrounded by loved ones on your own, but it’s far from impossible to have a happy holiday alone.

We know how you feel. We’ve been there, done that, and many of our writers are doing it right now. If you’re looking for some inspiration this holiday seasons, here’s a sneak peak at our top 10 ways to have a happy holiday even when you’re spending it alone:

• Making your house, dorm, or apartment feel festive
• Connecting with the true meaning of the holiday season
• Taking time to invest in yourself
  

10. Set the Scene

You don’t have to be hosting a big holiday gathering to deck the halls. If you aren’t feeling very merry about spending the holidays on your own, transforming your home, dorm, or apartment into a scene straight out of a Currier & Ives card may be just the thing to lift your spirits.

A study by the Swiss National Science Foundation suggests that surrounding yourself with color and light can actually reduce stress and anxiety. And you don’t have to sink your life savings into an all-encompassing trip through Target’s holiday section to fill your home with a little extra cheer. Festive decor can be purchased for cheap at your local dollar store, and so can supplies for fun holiday DIYs like these:

• Christmas shaker cards
• Winter scene salt shaker ornaments
• Origami dreidels

9. Cook Up Something Wonderful

Do you have fond childhood memories of baking Christmas cookies with grandma or roasting chestnuts over a roaring fire? Not only are holiday treats delicious (duh), the smell of your favorite seasonal foods can also trigger vivid memories of happy holidays gone by.

The olfactory bulb is the neural structure that processes smells. When you inhale a heavenly holiday scent -- be it sugar plums or Douglas fir -- the brain ships that information off to the limbic system for further processing. That includes the amygdala and hippocampus, regions of the brain tied to emotion and memory, which is why you get the warm fuzzies when you smell your favorite smells.

Not culinarily inclined? Try finding a candle that hits the same scent as your fondest memories.

8. Find Meaningful Ways to Connect with Loved Ones

It’s not always possible to spend the holidays with loved ones, but there are plenty of ways to show them that we care. Whether that means scheduling a virtual holiday movie marathon, sending them a thoughtful gift or care package, or simply giving them a call, the holidays can be shared with loved ones even if they’re on the other side of the country or halfway around the globe.

7. Treat Yo’Self

Everyone wants to be spoiled sometimes, and that desire can be particularly strong around the holidays, when we have more of a tendency to indulge. According to psychotherapist Susan Hepburn, “Studies have shown that when we give ourselves treats, we feel happy, indulged, and contented, which boosts our self-esteem.”

Treating yourself can mean anything from snagging your favorite candy bar when you go on your next grocery run to spending some time luxuriating in a hot bath. Plus, with holiday sales still going strong, you can treat yourself without taking an anxiety-inducing hit to your bank account.

6. Treat Someone Else

Yes, it is indeed the plot of a plethora of holiday movies, but as the holidays become increasingly commercialized, it becomes easier and easier to forget why we celebrate them in the first place. The religious origins of our favorite holiday traditions are rooted in giving to others and reflecting on the bounty and blessings present in our own lives.

Not only is giving to others -- whether to loved ones or to charity -- a return to the true meaning of the holiday season, it’s actually good for you. Studies have shown that altruistic behavior does everything from increasing the production mood-boosting endorphins in the brain to improving our overall health and longevity.

5. Get Involved in Your Community

For those with difficult family relationships or with few friends nearby, the holidays can be a lonely time of year. If you’re looking for connection to help chase away the winter blues but aren’t exactly sure who to connect with, consider broadening your search.

Many community organizations expand their outreach programs during the holidays, which means there are plenty of opportunities to volunteer in person or from the comfort of your own home. See if you can find opportunities like these in your community:

• Donate old coats, gloves, and scarves to families in need
• Serve up warm meals at a local shelter
• Walk or read to dogs who are waiting to find their forever homes (or, if you can, foster)
• Write letters to elderly community members at your local nursing home
• Start a random acts of kindness campaign -- pay for a stranger’s coffee, leave an uplifting note, or whatever else speaks to you, and encourage them to do the same
  

4. Light a Fire (Under Yourself, Not Just in the Hearth)

During the winter, we tend to spend more time cooped up indoors. That feeling of boredom can be amplified if you don’t have parties or family traditions to fill up your holiday vacation days. Rather than getting bummed out about your empty social calendar (or whiling your days away with endless doomscrolling), tap into the potential of all those empty hours.

Spending the holidays on your own is the perfect opportunity to get back into your passion projects. Whether you DIY decor or gifts, chip away at that NaNoWriMo project you didn’t quite finish, or jam out on the guitar you haven’t messed with since high school, now is the perfect time to get creative.

3. Learn Something New

Colleges sometimes push a winter semester, entire classes crammed into the few weeks between the fall and spring semesters. While such opportunities are no doubt learning experiences, there are less stressful ways to pick up a new skill over the holidays as well.

Here are just a few ideas:

• Challenge yourself to recreate makeup looks or crazy culinary creations you see on Instagram
• Read a book on a topic that you’ve always wanted to know more about
• FaceTime grandma to get a 1-on-1 knitting lesson (or learn chess from your college roommate, or how to cook a perfect turkey from your dad, or…)

2. Take a Much-Needed Break

One reason that people look forward to the holidays all year is that it’s an opportunity to step back from the hustle and bustle of daily life and just relax for a few days. But as fun as the holidays are, spending time with family or hopping between holiday parties can be stressful in its own right. Spending the holidays on your own is a valuable opportunity to truly unwind.

Maybe this year you want to unplug from social media for a few weeks or plan to spend your evenings curled up with a good book. Whatever relaxing means to you, do it!

Decompressing is important because it gives your body a much-needed break from stress hormones, making you more productive, boosting your immune system, and providing a variety of other benefits. So if you’re spending the holidays on your own this year, take a deep breath and try to enjoy the calm.

1. Set Realistic Expectations for Yourself

Spending the holidays alone can be hard, and you don’t have to pretend like it isn’t. Even if you’ve resolved to make the most of the holiday season on your own, you may find yourself having moments of loneliness or downright sadness. That’s okay.

The holidays are a pressure cooker of memories, emotions, and expectations, from ourselves as well as those around us. If you find yourself stressing about the holidays, give yourself space to feel what you’re feeling. This is your holiday season, and you can do it however you want.

Spending the most wonderful time of the year on your own doesn’t have to be scary. Be kind to yourself and take time to indulge in whatever “wonderful” looks like for you. Happy holidays!