Being Single in Your 20s (+ How To Do It Right)

eing single in your 20s is a really scary thing. As a 20-year-old, I have seen so many Instagram posts from people I went to highschool with about already being engaged. Seeing that kind of thing can make you feel like you’re falling behind or doing something wrong, but don’t panic! Your 20s are actually the best time to be single, and I’m here to guide you through this journey. 

Today, we’re going to look into being single in your 20s:

• What Constitutes “Being Single?”
• Are You Really Missing Out?
• How Can You Take Advantage of Being Single in Your 20s?

Without further ado, let’s explore single life!

What Constitutes “Being Single?” 

All “single” means is that you aren’t currently in a committed romantic relationship. If you’re not sure if you’re currently in a committed romantic relationship, there are a few ways to define the relationship to clear things up. Starting conversations with phrases like "I feel lucky we've gotten to know each other" or "I really like what we have going on here" are good methods to clear this up. By starting relationship defining conversations, you’ll be able to clear up where you are and where you can go in the future. These conversations can be scary, but having them is super important! 

Are You Really Missing Out?

There are pros and cons to everything, including relationships in your 20s. Of course, being in a relationship means going on nice dates or having someone to talk/vent to after a long day. Relationships can be great. However, they aren’t everything. 

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In your 20s, you are still trying to figure out who you are! And so is everyone else. Being in a relationship can be a lot on top of school or work, and while you may feel like you’re similar to your partner, you’re both changing and growing. Plus, ghosting is a very real, very current phenomenon that has become somewhat normal in the dating scene. 

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Your 20s are the time to explore yourself and find out both who you are and what you like. I promise you’re not missing out by not being in a relationship. So, how can you really take advantage of being single in your 20s?

How Can You Take Advantage of Being Single in Your 20s?

Your 20s are some of the best years of your life, and it’s important that you live in the moment. There’s no need to focus on relationships when you have the best partner anyone could ask for: yourself! So how can you make sure you’re making the most of the best years of your life? 

Make Mistakes!

I know what you’re thinking, but making mistakes is a part of life, and it’s better to do it now while you’re young and can still learn from it. With age comes experience, and to get that wisdom all those wise old wizards have, you have to make mistakes. If you’re in school, this is the prime time to take risks and see where life takes you. Following the formula of education, job, partner, house, pets, kids, etc., may seem like the straight-forward path to happiness, but not everyone finds joy in those things. 

The only way to figure out who you are and what you like is to try new things and fail at them. Or succeed and discover your true passion! Change your major, and then change it again. Join a club and find out you really don’t know how to build a robot. Try a new place to eat and decide that pho isn’t for you. Just get out there and explore your options! Mistakes are how we grow, so don’t be afraid of failure. 

Learn Who You Are

It sounds silly, but it’s easy to get lost in the relationship version of yourself. It happens all the time. You do what you can to impress someone and now you’re convincing yourself that you love Guns n Roses or that you’re into collecting vinyls for a record player you don’t even have. Your 20s are the perfect time to find yourself and what you really enjoy.

Being single allows you to ask yourself the tough questions and really get to those answers. You’re able to get a better understanding of not only the person that you are but the kind of people you want to surround yourself with as well. Being single in your 20s also allows you to develop self-reliance. It can get easy to rely on a partner, especially when you’re spending so much time together. Your 20s are still developmental years, and it’s important to learn how to be self-sufficient as you’re blossoming into the professional young adult you know you can be.

Let Romance be a Subplot 

I know it feels like a relationship is the end-all-be-all of life, but personally, I think you should let it be like a great book or TV show: a subplot. I’m a fan of believing that everything will find you at just the right time, so don’t rush things! Besides, whether it’s school or a new career, you have a ton on your plate. Focus on graduating, getting that masters, finding the perfect job, or getting that promotion. When the time is right, that special someone will make their way into your life and you’ll be ready to be swept off your feet! 

Travel

Traveling while you still can is seriously underrated. Seeing the world and all its beauty is truly something everyone should do, whether it’s backpacking across Europe or tanning on a beach in South America, and being in a relationship can complicate traveling. 

Sometimes your partner doesn’t want to do the same thing you do, and sometimes the long distance for a long period of time can really put stress on a relationship. Being single in your 20s gives you the freedom to travel all over with friends and take time to really explore other cultures. While it’s not something you have to do in your life, getting to see other countries and experiencing other ways of life is a valuable experience. 

Take Yourself Out! 

It sounds silly, I know, but you really can date yourself. There’s a bit of a trend going around about exposure therapy and asking strangers questions you know will result in a “no” response. It starts off feeling really embarrassing and icky—no one wants to embarrass themselves! But it gives you the strength to build up a tolerance to embarrassment and allow you to express yourself in public without fear. I know I have a fear of going to dinner or a movie by myself, but sometimes it’s good to do things you want to do by yourself. Taking yourself out and treating yourself every so often in a great way to take advantage of being single in your 20s! 

There you have it!

Being single in your 20s really is not the end of the world, but rather, the beginning of something great! You can learn more about yourself and experience new things without the fear of disappointing a partner. There’s no one “right” way to be single in your 20s, and it can be scary. But remember that a relationship doesn’t define who you are! So take a chance and be single during these formative years!