Does Dating Your Best Friend Work?

alling in love is confusing. Falling in love with your best friend is terrifying. Could the friendship survive a break up? Will the dynamics of the friendship change? Can this even work? Don’t worry little jitter-bug, you’re in good hands! This blog is doing a deep dive on the question: does dating your best friend work?

We’ll be looking into a few different factors: 

• Why friendship is necessary 
• The science behind romance
• And the big question!

Why is Friendship Necessary?

Bodily Benefits

Many people tend to prioritize romance over friendship, but friendship has some important impacts on the body. A study from 2019 found that strong friendships actually help lower blood pressure and actually can increase lifespan. So, before asking: does dating your best friend work?, make sure you have a strong support system around you as well. 

Brain Boosters

Close friends even have similar brain waves. So that supernatural mind link you claim to have with your bestie—it’s real! There are similarities all over your brain such as the areas that control what grabs your attention, how you process information, and what you look at. So not only are you calmed by a close friend, your brain is actually working in the same ways!

The Effects of Social Isolation

Loneliness can have effects on the mind and body as well. That same study from 2019 found that social isolation increases your risk of strokes, heart attacks, and premature death by 26%. And Americans seem to be getting lonelier since the pandemic with the help of social media. So get out there and make some real life friends!

The Science of Romance

The Five Senses

Is love at first sight real? Well, not exactly. Romantic interest doesn’t reside in just one portion of our sense—it’s actually a product of all five. The five senses work in unison to produce that warm, fuzzy, sometimes nauseating feeling we all call love. 

Sight

So, can you love someone at first sight? Short answer: no. You can’t feel love for someone just based on what they look like, but you can feel love’s devious brother: lust. Seeing someone you find pretty releases dopamine (the chemical associated with arousal) in the brain. By doing so, it tends to also shut down the parts of your brain that deal with social judgement and negative emotions. When it comes down to it, sight is usually the first thing that determines how we feel about a person. If you’re attracted to their appearance, you may be attracted to more of them. 

Smell

Humans aren’t as keen as other wild animals when it comes to smell, but don’t think that means it doesn’t play a role. It’s been found that humans actually use something called pheromones which are chemical signals released by potential mates. This helps the body determine a viable romantic partner. So, if your bestie starts smelling extra good, that’s a good sign!

Touch

This sense is a tricky one. Kissing, holding hands, and cuddling can release lots of oxytocin and dopamine. But if the touch is unwelcome or seen as dangerous, it can do the opposite. So don’t go holding hands with your best friend until you’re sure this can be the real deal. 

Taste

Yes, taste actually plays a pretty big role in determining the way two people feel about one another. And no, it’s not just kissing. A study found that after eating something sweet and looking at a photo of a potential partner, the participants were more likely to be interested in a relationship with the individual pictured. Sweetness sets off the pleasure center in our brains, flooding it with dopamine and the urge to repeat this behavior. That’s why chocolate is often seen as an aphrodisiac! 

Hearing

This final sense is a big one. The sound of a potential partner’s voice can sound like music to the ears, but it’s not just what they say—it’s how they say it. If you can’t stand the sound of someone’s voice, or if the things they say irk you beyond belief, you can write off a romantic relationship with that individual.

The Big Question

Does Dating Your Best Friend Work?

Yes, it can work, but you have to put in the effort. Dating your best friend is scary, and the idea of losing someone so close to you is something that has to be considered. There are pros and cons to every relationship, especially one with your best friend. So, how do you make it work?

Communication

Communication is a huge part of all kinds of relationships, especially romantic ones. It may be scary, but communicating what you’re feeling and why will help prevent resentment building up for the person you love. Communication goes both ways, however. You also have to implement active listening. 

Here are some ways to implement active listening:

• Use body language. Nodding and eye-contact show someone that you are present in the conversation.
• Ask questions. By asking questions, you’re showing them that you truly care about what they’re saying and want to know more. 
• Don’t get defensive. I know it’s easy to jump the gun, but you don’t want to come off as defensive. You’ll have a chance to express your feelings and intentions as well, but for now, it’s your partner's turn. 
• Be present. Don’t zone out or make your partner repeat themselves. Really absorb what they’re saying and hear them out! 

Don’t Rush Into Things

It’s easy to feel comfortable with your best friend, but don’t rush! Make sure you both understand what this means for your relationship moving forward. Some things may feel odd at first, like getting intimate or fighting, but if you stay calm and take things slow, everything will acclimate with time. 

Your History is Beneficial

Good news! You two are already best friends, so you don’t have to go through that awkward phase of getting to know one another. You have a history so use it to your advantage. You know what makes the other laugh, what music they like, the kind of food they love, and all of their pet peeves. Don’t get nervous. Just be yourself and don’t forget that you were friends first. 

Yes, dating your best friend can work if you follow these tips and tricks.

It’s easy to be scared of dating your best friend, but you have to remember that it is possible. Remember what you’ve learned here today and use it to your advantage. The only thing stopping you is you!